I turn into a ball of nerves whenever I’m on a first date and no matter how hard I try to combat my anxiety, it never seems to go away. The second date is fine — it’s just that initial meeting that gets me all riled up, and I’m starting to get concerned that it’s keeping me from attracting the guys and the relationships that I deserve.
1. THEY DON’T GET TO SEE WHO I REALLY AM.
I feel like my nervousness creates a veil over the true me and I’m completely unable to really open up to my date. Sure, I’ve had fantasies where I’m sitting with my date cool as a cucumber, sipping my drink and speaking freely about the details of my life. The reality is that the nerves take over and any hope I had for a laid-back time goes out the window. I find it hard to really know if I like them because I’m not being myself, and I feel like it’s out of my control.
2. I AVOID DATING BECAUSE OF IT.
If I get asked out, I’ll eventually agree, but I’d never do online dating and expose myself on purpose to the scariness that is the first date. If I didn’t have this fear of first dates, I’d probably have a boyfriend by now, but it’s not something I usually go after. It’s the same reason I don’t like rollercoasters — why would I scare myself on purpose?
3. IT MAKES ME FEEL UNWORTHY.
The idea that I can’t even have a conversation on a first date without internally freaking out doesn’t make me feel too good about myself. After the date, I end up walking home with my head down, regretting pretty much everything I said and did. I wonder over and over again why I can’t just pull it together and act normal, but for some reason, I just can’t.