It’s easy for me to say that I love my friends or even my morning coffee, but uttering those three little words to a guy I’m saying can be tough, at least in the beginning. I know it shouldn’t be hard to express my feelings to someone I really care about, and it isn’t… so long as he sets the precedent. Here’s why I’ll never say “I love you” first:
1. I NEVER REALLY KNOW WHAT HE’S THINKING.
Even if the relationship is going great, there’s always that fear of not knowing whether or not we’re actually on the same page. We all have doubts that linger in the back of our minds, even in the most secure relationships. If only Magic 8 balls were credible sources for telling the future! At least if he tells me he loves me first, I know it’s not just me.
2. IT’S NOT SOMETHING I CAN EVER TAKE BACK.
Saying “I love you” is permanent. Those words can shatter a relationship if the person I say it to doesn’t feel the same. There’s a chance that the relationship will grow, but there’s also a chance that it’ll stop dead in its tracks — I don’t like those odds! I wouldn’t want to risk my relationship by saying “I love you” and making things super awkward if he’s not feeling the same way.
3. IT MAY BE TOO SOON IN THE RELATIONSHIP — AT LEAST FOR HIM.
People feel things differently and at different times. After six months, I may be ready to confess my dying love, but the guy I’m with may need more time. Would it be fair to say “I love you” when I know he’s there yet? I don’t want to hide my emotions, but I also don’t want to put the person I love in an awkward situation.